When Life Gives You Lemons: Farmer Lady's Struggle in Finding Inspiration

If you're not interested in hearing about my struggles with job hunting and general life frustration, feel free to skip this post; it won't bother me. Well, maybe just a little, since not many people read my posts anyway.

It’s been too long since my last update, and I’d like to apologize. Life has been quite the rollercoaster lately, leaving me feeling a bit off balance and very frustrated. After graduating with my bachelor’s degree just over a year ago, I knew finding a new job wouldn't be easy, but I didn't think it would take this long. I find myself stuck, still searching for a position where I can apply the skills and knowledge that I worked so hard to gain.

Right now, my daily routine feels like a never-ending cycle of dull tasks, trapped in a job I never intended to take. I dedicated countless hours, effort, frustration (I'm looking at you, Applied Algebra 🤬), and determination to earn my degree, yet here I am, still merely a body filling a space in a workplace. It's depressing.

We often hear that everyone starts at the bottom, but this journey of mine seems particularly tough. With my experience primarily in the food industry, it has proven difficult to showcase skills that stand out to potential employers. Sure, I can create PowerPoint presentations and navigate Microsoft programs, but these skills aren't enough to get my foot in the door. Perhaps if we lived closer to a large city, the chances of getting something would increase, but where we live, if you don't know someone, then you aren't getting in.

The job application process has turned out to be more disheartening than encouraging. I’ve submitted numerous applications only to receive rejection letters (well, e-mails nowadays) every time. I just don't have enough experience in anything to write on my resume to make it sound better, to show that I can do the job for which I received college training.

This slump in my job search has left me uninspired and emotionally drained. After working my dead-end job for at least 8 hours, I drive home to confront the farm chores that await me; don't get me wrong, I love my farm, but even that is starting to feel like just something I have to do each day. Writing, crocheting, and wool processing have fallen to the wayside, overshadowed by my negative feelings of disappointment. Even housework has fallen aside, making my mood even worse looking at the mess sitting around.

Consequently, I haven’t been able to generate useful content for my blog in weeks. It’s hard to muster the motivation to write when I'm in this mood, and then I feel guilty about the money I invest in maintaining this space. This blog is a heartfelt outlet, a connection to whoever in the world decides to read this, as I know my family and friends don't. That also doesn't help my mood: the unsupportiveness of family and friends, the latter of which I don't have many. Even the ones that you work with for years, only sending the occasional text, when at work you were so close. Perhaps not as close as I thought.

Yet amidst this frustration, a small glimmer of hope approaches. The migration of the ruby-throated hummingbirds will soon return to my garden (they've been spotted in the state). And yet, that's just more work to do, making sugar water for them and keeping the feeders clean.

Beyond the hummingbirds, I genuinely want to express gratitude for the support you’ve shown during this challenging period. Knowing that you’re here, hopefully cheering me on, provides a sense of comfort.

Thank you for your patience and understanding throughout this period. Your support means everything to me, and I will, hopefully, keep you updated as I struggle onwards.